from Working by Stephen Schwartz


There's some as don't care when they put down a plate there's a sound.
Not with me.
When they move a chair it will scrape with a grate on the ground.
Not with me.
I will have my hand right when I place a glass.
Notice how I stand right as customers pass.
Serve a demitasse with a gesture so gentle
Or do it again 'til It's near oriental.

Da da da da dum dum

It's an art! It's an art to be a fine waitress.
To see that you pleasure each guest.
There's a twist to my wrist when I bring your steak in.
Or watch how I take in your liver and bacon.
It all needs be stylish and smart.
That's what makes it an art.

I remember one day, as I do now and then.
I had shakes. Down I went!
There with my tray full of coffees
and cordials and cakes. Down I went!
But I kept my poise. Not one guest heard me fall.
Never made a noise. Not one noise food and all.
If you have to crawl, you give 'em what they like.
You carry your tray like...it's almost ballet-like.

La la la la la la la la la la la la la la

It's an art! It's an art to be a fine waitress
Each evening I treasure the test.
Like tonight was a fight, cause they hired this bus boy,
This hair-all-a-muss boy and folks heard him cuss.
Boy, did we have a quick heart to heart.
Even that was an art.

Tips? HA!
Tips are important for people like captains and barmen
For them it's a tips, see? For me, I'm a gypsy!
Just toss me a coin and I suddenly feel like I'm Carmen

So on through the ulcer, he backache, the hot, sweaty feet.
On you go!
Through, "Is your knife dull, sir?"
And, "Madam wants WHAT with her meat?"
On you go!
Two AM approaches, the curtains descend
There among the roaches my act's at an end
Every night I tend to find myself crying
There's no work so trying tr so satisfying
It's an art! It’s an art to be a great waitress.
So I zoom through the room, with a flair no one else has. An air no one else has.
I swear no one else has my lilt when I say "A la carte"
You can see it gives me a glow, ev'rytime I prove I'm a pro
Maybe I'm not quite Michelangelo.
But I'm not just a waitress,I'm a one woman show!


from Sound Bites, released June 30, 2016




Jacqueline Novikov Boston, Massachusetts

Soprano Jacqueline Novikov, founder of Forma Music, is dedicated to entertaining and educating audiences through classical vocal music. She uses music's powerful language to express life's humorous, serious, mundane and sacred truths. Jacqueline holds a B.M. from the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, NY and a M.M. from Manhattan School of Music in New York City. ... more

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