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from Shrek: The Musical
music by Jeanine Tesori
lyrics by David Lindsay-Abaire

lyrics

“There's a princess in a tower.”
Oh my gosh, that's just like me!
Poor Rapunzel needs a haircut,
But the witch won't set her free.
“She passes time by singing.”
Like someone else I know.
“As years go by she sits and waits.”
As years go by? Uh oh
“A torturous existence,”
I don't remember this part!
“She wishes she were dead?”
Skip ahead! Skip ahead!
“But in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire
The prince is good at climbing
And braiding golden hair!”

So I know, he'll appear
Cause there are rules and there are strictures
I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight
My white knight, and his steed
Will look just like these pictures!
It won't be long now, I guarantee!
Day number: twenty three
I know its today!
There's a princess in a coma
Glad it’s her instead of me
Pretty maiden in a glass box
How I wonder does she pee? Blah blah blah, poison apple
Boring boring, evil queen
Filler filler, been there, read that!
Seven shorties on the scene
Skip ahead, skip ahead!
But in the end the princess wakes up with a start
The prince is good at kissing
And melting Snow White's heart!

So I know, he'll appear
And his armor will be blinding!
As shining as his perfect teeth and manly hose
He'll propose on one knee
And our pre-nup will be binding!
About time we set the wedding date!
Day number nine hundred and fifty eight
I know it's today. He'll show up today!

There's a princess! Any princess!
Take your pick, they're all like me!
Not exactly, I'm still waiting!
They're out living happily
Ever after better get here
I want love in seconds flat!
No one needs these middle bits
Oops, did I do that?

Cut the villains, cut the vamping
Cut this fairy tale
Cut the peril and the pitfalls
Cut the puppet and the whale!
Cut the monsters! Cut the curses!
Keep the intro! Cut the verses!
And the waiting! The waiting! The waiting! The waiting!
The waiting!

But I know, he'll appear
Though I seem a bit bipolar
And I'm a vandal now as well, hope he won't mind
I'm a find, I'm a catch
And a very gifted bowler!
It won't be long now, I guarantee!
Day number

Are you there god?
It's me Fiona!

Now I know, he'll appear
Cause there are rules and there are strictures
I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight
My white knight, my knight and his steed
Will look just like these pictures!
It won't be long now, I guarantee
Day number eight thousand, four hundred and, twenty three
I know it's today!

credits

from A Little Knight Music, released July 5, 2017

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Jacqueline Novikov Boston, Massachusetts

Soprano Jacqueline Novikov, founder of Forma Music, is dedicated to entertaining and educating audiences through classical vocal music. She uses music's powerful language to express life's humorous, serious, mundane and sacred truths. Jacqueline holds a B.M. from the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, NY and a M.M. from Manhattan School of Music in New York City. ... more

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